spaghettimonster | Canyon: Inbox

[If Papyrus's long-suffering sigh is a metric for the authenticity of bone puns, then yes, yes it is.]

Dinosaurs are cool enough! No sense trying to measure up to my cool looks. [Not to mention, good luck finding skeleton stuff that looks like either of them, nowadays. But he doesn't voice that, just meanders around to peer down at the menu upside down.]

[Ah yes, that sigh gives Sans life. He spins the menu around so Papyrus doesn't have to read upside down.]

If you designed some decorations based on you they'd definitely be best sellers. [Sans is imagining ones that look like Papyrus should look, of course, but even if he's a skelebot now Papyrus is still extremely cool.]

Get whatever, I've got it handled. [The bill, that is. He is not going to make Papyrus pay on his birthday!]

Entrepreneurial work, huh...? [He muses this while looking over the menu, because even if he usually eats the same few things (and charges), something else might strike his fancy. Especially on his birthday. But rather than read the menu aloud, he keeps up on the other idea.]

I bet you're right, loads of people would buy my artistic works! And not even because we're aliens.

[Though that would certainly be part of it. And it might help, because even with that extra money from the ill-fated research efforts, he still doesn't have as much put aside as he'd like for when the hotel thing stops. Not based on the property quotes he's been gathering.]

If you're gonna use the alien angle, gimme time to dress my hot dog cart up like a spaceship. [Man, Sans wishes they were that kind of alien. That would be cool.] Maybe I could figure out how to glow green. [You know, like a green space alien.]

Wow, that's a stretch. Outer space aliens... When practically the opposite is true. [Because, you know, they're inner earth aliens. Or something. He flips the menu over, checking the other side, and keeps talking to avoid dropping the mood on a down point:]

But you could get some paint. Something green... greenish yellow. Glow through that, it'll look green.

[Sans pauses, considering.] So, I'll take some green and yellow sharpies, yeah? Dump 'em in the tub, maybe with some rubbing alcohol or something to bleed it out. Jump in, come out green.

[This is a perfect idea and nothing could possibly go wrong. But Sans isn't actually going to do it anyway so it's fine.]

No?? [He could point out that sharpies aren't paint, and it's not their tub, and the rubbing alcohol would make the whole place stink. But it's pretty clear Sans is just saying that to be obnoxious.

Instead he shifts the menu, pointedly making noise with it.]

'Angels on horseback'... Where do they come up with these names?

[Sans looks at the ingredients skeptically.] They've got a weird idea of what angels are here. D'you think the oysters are the angels or the horses? [Sans is pretty sure the watercress is the horse, but also he's never had watercress.]

Hmmm. The... the horses, because the bacon must be the angels. It's on the oysters. ['Around' is a kind of 'on', if you stretch the ideas involved. The watercress could be the ground they're riding and/or flying on.

And because bacon is greasy.]

Huh, y'think so? I figured the bacon would be like the wings. [This is an avenue he hadn't considered!] Then the watercress is the ground. Guess it's a whole little scene.

[Are either of them even getting this dish?]

Think I'll just stick with a burger. Fewer angels, and I can still get bacon on it.

Of course, keeping the most important part...

[Neither of them is getting this dish. He doesn't want bacon anywhere near his mouth, especially since the whole 'oil for machines' theory didn't pan out.]

I guess I won't ask you to pass, and eat something not-terrible, even though it's my birthday. But only because you made a cake, and everything. [Also there's a wrapped present, but he's more focused on the food just yet.]

...A club sandwich... Yeah, that's good. [Good enough, so he doesn't start browsing for takeout options instead.]

I guess I can get lettuce on the burger. [Sans is truly magnanimous. And also he will actually follow through on this. Lettuce and a non-ketchup tomato and everything. Look at him go.

Once food is sorted out, Sans stretches back out on his bed. He's gotten good at finding the best ways to lounge with his wings.] You wanna open your present now?

[Sans wants to make sure he sees the wrapping paper.]

[Papyrus is almost impressed by these nominally healthy toppings. He'll be more impressed if Sans actually eats them, and doesn't use them as props for something.]

Present and then food, huh? It's not a super fancy fork, is it?

[This is mostly joking, and agreement. He grabs the thick woven blanket from the end of his bed and spreads it, the better to sit up on the bed without any of the hotel bedding catching in machine parts. It's already a little rough, but much sturdier than the original ones. A good purchase that he doesn't regret - other than the reason for buying it, which wasn't his fault.]

If it was, I'd wanna fork it over now. [But it's probably not a fork. The package is decently-sized and heavy enough that it would have to be a lot of fancy forks, if utensils were involved.]

You are forking it over, right now. [Papyrus is holding it as they speak??

But bantering aside, he lifts it near his skull and gives it a mild shake, just to confirm it's not full of utensils. And what kind of wrapping is it, anyway?]

Yeah, pretty fork-tunate for you, right? [It is the best wrapping paper. While it doesn't sound like it's full of utensils, it does sound like there's more than one thing in there. The base doesn't move, but something on top of it does. It's possible Sans wrapped more than one thing with one piece of wrapping paper.]

[The sharks are cute, with their little balloons and party hats. Not as cute as skeletons, but what is? The jawsome pun takes him by surprise, and he's startled into laughter at the sight of it.]

Oh my god?! [If it turns out that Sans bought him toothpaste, he's going to throw the tube at him. Gently. But for the moment, and hoping for something less pointedly clever, he starts in on opening the main package - the better to get to the top piece first.] How many things are in here?

[Sans shrugs, looking pleased with himself.] It's not a birthday surprise if I tell you.

[But the answer is that it's three things: at the bottom is a very thick book on human electrical engineering, which hadn't been moving around because it was the widest thing in there. On top of the book is a power bank and a foldable solar charger to go with it.]

'Solar charger'...

[It takes Papyrus several seconds to get it, as he has to turn the container over and read its description. They haven't been on the surface long, after all - it's the kind of tech that wouldn't have been used underground. But he gets the gist of it, and his eye sockets widen.]

Ohhh. Oh, that's... That's so thoughtful?

[He's tearing up. The power bank is clearly of a set with this, a practical help for not getting stuck sitting and charging during a busy day. The book's practical in a long-term way, giving him a little more edge in the repairs of his changing body. But something that turns sunlight into electricity...? It could save him from needing to plug in at night at all.]

I-I see how it is. You want me to come hang out in the sun at the ruins with you.

Who wouldn't want to hang out with you? [Sans is clearly pleased with this reaction, which might not be so obvious except that "preening" comes from birds for a reason, and his wings flutter a little on their own.] I can show you all the cool stuff out there. All the new nap spots I found. [But also things Sans actually thinks are cool, like the ruins in general and the things they are uncovering. And even more importantly, Papyrus could also go other places in the canyon if he wanted without having to worry about there not being a plug around.]

Oh, wow, nap spots. You're really selling this place. [He's laughing a little as he says it, grinning around the watery eye sockets. It helps he's caught on to some of the bird body language sneaking into his brother's mannerisms, but past that...

That last point, about not needing to plug in no matter where he goes? That's the part sinking in, the more he smiles down at the solar panel. He'll need to figure out a way to rig it onto him, so it stays as he moves around, maybe even so it charges on the go... And with the rest of the gift, he's that much closer to doing so.]

We uncovered these weird symbols. I can show you those. [Not that they've figured out what they are yet, but Sans finds them absolutely fascinating.] And the humming, I guess.

[That kind of took a turn when he took Roman to hear the whispering, but Sans is hoping that was just because of the experiment interfering.]

Weird symbols and humming... Oh, you said something about that. [On the network, he means, while he was... distracted. The details of it all are escaping him. And it's not like they were meeting to talk in person, with how uncomfortably distant that cave is for people who don't teleport.

...Maybe it'll be better with a power source. And something to juice up his phone's reception. And...]

Yeah, I was thinkin' about putting that info up online but then, y'know, all that stuff happened. [Where everyone started acting weird and Sans became a cave hermit. But he should really get around to putting up a post about it.] But you get used to the humming, so I can still give you a tour of the place.

[Kind of. Rather, Sans is just a touch supernaturally enamored with the whole ruins mystery and therefore willing to ignore it more than he might otherwise be.]

[Papyrus nods, smile briefly fading, because yes - all that stuff sure happened. But he picks back up as Sans explains a little bit extra what he means.]

I'm sure that humming's no match for me. What's one more mystery sound. [Ever since transforming at that party, he's been hearing bits and pieces of things. Even right now, there's nippets of a used car sales ad, another game show, a ticker about auction prices, a phone call about a deadline next Monday... He shifts, resting the solar charger further down the bed, and examines the power pack and book more closely.] If it's humming, it must be more like music than whispers. Right?

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